This SweetSurprise campaign pisses me the fuck off (The newly launched campaign advocating the use of high fructose corn syrup as a sweetener)

The Reality:
High fructose diets may cause liver damage and liver disease, weight gain, mineral deficiencies, which can cause immune and insulin disorders, metabolic syndrome, insulin resistance and intestinal issues including: pain, flatulence, bloating and loose stools or possibly diarrhea. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fructose#Health_effects)

High fructose corn syrup also contains virtually no fiber. Fiber has been shown to be a regulator of digestion; it slows absorption down. Slower absorption means that blood-sugar level spikes don't occur, which can cause insulin resistance and has been hypothesized to cause hyperactivity in children. Fiber also causes a decrease in the likelihood of colon cancer, though this has become disputed.

I dunt like industrial food -,-

is it just me or is this completely disturbing/misogynistic/incestuous/CREEPY?

ewwwwwww.....

don't you find futurama to be the epitome of goodness in this postmodern society?!

enough academia, lets get fucked up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or as janice (dyke!) would say...lets rock this bitch!!!

so starting off journal articals is like way hard! but i managed! tehe!

so....ferrets, rabbits, venus fly traps and eifel towers, i'm thinking ive got a bit of a crush.....which i don't say lightly on account of being nearly impotent after my little breakup with christian festerface. why do i only go for epic romance? it's like if it's too easy i'm not interested...needs to be almost impossible. lol, oh well, can't help who you have a crush on.

that's my rant, SUCK ON THAT! LELELELELELELELELELELLE

I stare at you
eyes full of fear
hesitation penciled in
between my brows,
i can see how far
we've come,
but it's tomorrow that I'm blind.
Your lips, hands, eyes, tears,
all tattooed underneath
my skin.
Permanente.
Exhaustion paints your face.
blue and purple
in the shadows
under your eyes,
I catch every movement,
commit it to memory.
Just how painful
will this be?
When you rip
your hand from mine,
rip me,
all to pieces.
When I'm only left
with tattoos.
When it is only my
tears
that stain this face.
Sleep finally stole you
away into your dreams.
The only thing I couldn't
protect you from.
Other than me.

It's Father's Day. And I really don't care. I know I should, and I feel guilty because I don't.

I'm sick of trying. Trying to like you, trying hard to get along with you, trying not to let you get to me, trying not to snap at you. I love you, I really do. But it's too hard and I have enough difficulties without you bustling your way into my life and making it hard for everyone around you.

After you broke down, I tried my hardest. I didn't irritate you, I did all I could to be a good son. And you tried to be a good father. And you were. But then something happened. You reverted back to your old behaviour - the behaviour that pushed me away, pushed Mum away. The behaviour that is the reason for why Mum divorced you, causing you to slip into clinical depression.

You're selfish! You only care about yourself. You only care about what will effect you and make you uncomfortable. You wonder why I feel like this toward you. I recognise that I have a lot of anger towards you. It's because for 15 years you didn't really give a flying fuck about me. You never spent time with me. When you did you critised me. Called me fat and nicknamed me "girly man". And you don't even see how that's wrong. That's what hurts - you can't see that the way you treat us is horrible.

Then you wonder why I don't visit you, and that I don't seem to care. It's because you didn't do anything to earn my respect. You think our love is a RIGHT, not a privelige. I know that love is supposed to be unconditional, but I find it hard to love a stranger. Of course I love you - you are my father. Whether I like it or not, I came from you. But the person you are is someone that I don't like.

Some people think that I whinge over nothing, and that I'm lucky that I even had a father. But is it lucky to have a father, even if it's you? Growing up, I did have a father. But nothing I did was right, you screamed at me, made me feel bad about everything I did and who I was. And now I'm hurt. And I find it so hard to work through all that pain. My sister thinks I'm selfish - she had the same experiences as I, but SHE still manages to get along with you. I don't have the same maturity as her - I'm nearly 18, but she is 25. She's had 7 years more to work out her problems with you. She feels sorry for you. I don't. You brought all this on yourself.

Mum and I laugh at you. We laugh at the stupid things you say, and the dumb things you do. We laugh because it makes us feel better. It's like when the school bully has revenge taken out on him. The giant is toppled. Well you bullied us. For fifteen years (nearly double that with Mum) you pounded us into the ground with your harsh words.

On the flip side, I feel truly bad about this. I'm not supposed to dislike my father! It isn't the right thing to feel. But we never had a proper family life, and you never fulfilled what I needed in a father. I wanted to rely on you, but I couldn't. I wanted you to show that you loved me, but you didn't. You did nothing. And now I feel nothing.

It isn't all bad though. You and I get along sometimes. We can laugh and joke, even talk about some things. But on the whole, we can't. And it hurts me too much to even try anymore. I'm exhausted and I don't think I can try as hard anymore. So I'll still visit when I can, and make conversation and try to not let you get under my skin. But I'll sigh with relief when I'm on my way home.

You know I love you. And I want things to get better. But at the moment, I don't know how much time I can spend with you. Happy Father's Day.

I want to get some things written down. I'm not even pretyping this in word like I usually do, to check for errors and what not.

I'm a severe worry wart! Over the top. My sister gave me a great idea...get a second job, work more hours, and between those jobs, my impending internship, and school I won't have enough time to worry! Doesn't that sound great!?!? I mean I even have the motivation to do that now, besides the pay.

Anyway I had an awesome day today. I did great at work, and I actually enjoyed it. I got to spend time with my favorite aunt, so close she's like what my real mom should be like. We had a good time. I then spent time with good friend 1 for the first time in like two weeks and we had a great time as well.

I feel so good right now because I feel like I've got a game plan. Get a second job, worry less, take control! Of course its not that simple but I'll work something out.

Gosh...I need to stop for now though, I've got it all out of me for now.

Later.

I joined the Powderpuff team at school. Yup, I'm gonna get my ass kicked. I'm too girly to be good at football, I also don't like it. It seems pretty pointless of a game. But I gave into peer pressure and did it cuz my friend is on the student council and is organizing it and begged me to join cuz they're short on players. Oh and not to mention the fact that we're gonna have awsome shirts that are black with teil lettering. We have a practice tomorrow. Theres only going to be 2 games though, the seniors will play the freshman, juniors vs. sophmores. And the 2 winners will play and the 2 losers. It should be fun. I wanna get those black lines under my eyes when I play. And kick some senior bitches ass.

Something random about myself...
One of my biggest fears in murky water. The lack of not being able to see around you, and the general unknown of deep-water life.
I noticed this, probably, when I was smaller and playing Zelda 64 .
The water temple creeped me out.
My biggest fear is death.
Not really because of my wanting to live, but rather the fact that everyone would see me as that happy, cheery, good student that was optimistic and friendly. They wouldn't know who I was, and people will just be wasting their time, doing something useless.
~DesuCake

my heart beats
silently
against the confines
of the
stars.
no longer
searching.
no longer
pleading.
no longer
longing.
only wandering.
only waiting.
only there.
the universe sways
and
pounds
as waves might
cascading into the
crashing hope
of my waking dreams.
my heart beats
softly
against your
hands.
no longer battered.
no longer beaten.
no longer broken.
only bruised.
only bent.
only beating.

i wanna make a band called 'I F#&@ing Hate You.' yes, dingbats and all...

we'd only write angry songs about stupid things we're pissed off about. idiotic things like missing a train, or getting dumped by a date, or the morons on tv or in government class....

things like that.

and we'd have a pop-y indie type sound that sounded all happy and cheerful until you actually listened to the lyrics and then you kinda want to kill yourself and your dog...

and we'd all wear hipster clothing, like thick plastic glasses with artificial lenses, and tight flannel shirts and girl jeans and hair that looks like we haven't seen a barber/comb/shower for years, and be disgustingly pretentious pricks who supposedly don't care what people think...

and all the kids will love us until some bastard comes along and markets us and then all the kids hate us, 'cause we're 'mainstream'...

and then we'll have a video on mtv that will play ad nauseum for two weeks, four if we're lucky, and our 'debut' album will top the charts and then we'll fade into oblivion....

then fifteen years later, vh1 will do a special "Where are they now?" and i'll be some tattooed vegan who lives with her girlfriend in either a.) some commune somewhere and smokes a lot of weed or b.) an aging hipster who owns a coffee shop and still sells albums and doesn't talk to her fellow bandmates....

i really do want to start a band called 'I F#&@ing Hate You.' and write angry songs about petty offenses though....

Ok so I am still half in half out of the big 'ol closet. I am back at college and will sign up to my college's lgbt group for definite.The group has a bebo page group thing and I would like to join it.However that means that pretty much everyone on my friends list will see I have joined.

I am not sure if I should do it?It may accelerate my coming-out process...but at the same time I am kind of worried.Maybe I am placing too much emphasis on joining this to my page.
Any opinions?Thanks ;)

THOSE NOSTRILS IN THE SKY

A young nosey went snorflin' out one dark and windy night
Upon a ridge it snorfled as its snot went on a flight
When all at once a lengthy trail of cow patties it smelled
The nosey couldn't see 'em, but it knew it would be felled

The stench set it on fire and the nose rolled on the ground
In agony, a'wondrin' if soon dead it would be found
A bolt of fear went through it as a wind came from the sky
For it saw two dark nostrils blowin' hard and blowin' high

Nyippie yi Ohhhhh
Nyippie yi yaaaaay
Those nostrils in the sky

Their septum gaunt, their nosehairs long, they're flarin' evermore
They're blowin' and they're snotin' like you've never seen before
They've got to blow forever in that hanky in the sky
A nose that's snorting fire and ever wonderin' why

As the nostrils blew over it the nose did hear a call
If you want to save your nares from me, best get on the ball
And nosey change your flares today or with me you will blow
Causing massive hurricanes far and way on down below

Nyippie yi Ohhhhh
Nyippie yi Yaaaaay

Those nostrils in the sky
Those nostrils in the sky
Those nostrils in the sky

Went today. Fucking awesome. Saw one of my favorite teachers. My ex went with...that was really awkward.....she stayed th night last nght....that was......not the best....it was awkward. I couldn't have her touch me. I didn't want her to. We slept in my bed. But she slept against the wall and I slept as close to the edge of the bed as I could get without falling off.

There was a moment when I woke up on my side facing her, and I didn't know what was going on. I'd thought we were together....then it all came back...and I rolled over quickly and cuddled my teddy bear and baby blanket.....

Aids walk was awesome......I loved to watch the people. I got a really big headache from it thought. So my head still hurts. But I'm gonna go again.

I'M GONNA HAVE TO START SPANKING YOU LOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! freaking teenagers!
i can't always be here to comment on u'r cute little journal entries, SO YOU GUYS HAVE TO DO IT TOO! people take time to post what they think/feel and what troubles them and you icey fuckers just ignore them!!! grrrr!!!!

NOW GET WITH THE COMMENTING OR I SHALL SHOWER YOU WITH UNCIVILIZED WORDS!

love ya!
adam
p.s....everybody thank jeff for making this site...don't go to sleep too late, eat more veggies, do more excercise, play less with your ding dongs and if u'r really good i'll give you a cookie!!!

I hate taxes. I love The Killers. I don't really like NIN. I kind of like The Ting-Tings. But, right now, I really-really-really hate those stupid taxes.